How to Stop Being Needy

How to Stop Being Needy - Dr Jonathan Toussaint
January 17, 2018 Relationship Problems

stop being needy

Being needy causes relationship problems. It’s true that it can be cute at first. The partner may feel like it is sweet that you need them that much. However, being needy continuously can become a real issue in the relationship eventually.

People tend to start being needy after the ‘whirlwind romance’ or ‘honeymoon’ stage of their relationship. When things start to get steady and less exciting, anxiety starts creeping in. Some individuals may feel anxious that there’s something wrong because of the change that has happened.

Some changes are not as bad as you might think they are and being needy will only push your partner away. Do not sabotage your relationship and stop yourself from being needy.

Tips to stop being a needy person

1. Put on the relationship breaks.

Inside the car, we enjoy the surroundings more when we learn to use the break and take things slowly. It is also with the breaks that we prevent ourselves from getting hurt in accidents. In relationships, we also need to have breaks. Not to stop the relationship entirely, but so we can prevent ourselves from going too fast.
Usually, when we’ve had a great time with a friend or with a partner, we can’t wait to get together again. If you feel the urge of calling the person after a great night out together, think twice before you do it. Calling immediately after you were together for hours is being needy. Learn to savour that moment you had together. Besides, not meeting for a while will make you actually excited to see each other again. Doesn’t absence make the heart go fonder?

2. Do not suffocate other people.

No matter how close your relationship might be, spending too much time together can become overwhelming at some point. Learn to take some time away from that person. Give people the space they need to breathe comfortably.
When sending messages, do not bombard the other person with tons if you don’t receive a response. Imagine every interaction as a volleyball game. Hitting the ball so it goes to the other side is like starting an interaction, sending a message or calling a friend. When the ball goes over the net to the other side of the court, you don’t hit another ball. Instead, you wait for the other team to hit the first ball so it comes back to your side of the court. Once you have started an interaction, learn to wait for people to respond. If they don’t respond right away, do not get anxious. There are a few possible reasons why they aren’t answering:

  • They did not receive the message (this does not mean you should send it again and again!)
  • They are busy. They have their own lives and they may have too much on their plate to respond.
  • They are not interested. (And THAT’S OKAY! Continue reading to know more about this.

How to Stop Being Needy -

3. Boost your confidence.

It might be easier said than done, but it’s worth the work. To do this, you need to know your worth and know what you want. You need to recognise the things that you deserve.

  • Make sure that the other person is still interested. If not, let it go. Sure, being needy can become a red flag in a relationship. However, worthy people won’t easily change their mind about you just because you showered them with much attention. If they’re acting fickle, and it’s because they are no longer interested, let him go. You deserve to be surrounded by people who actually like you.
  • Know the things that you need and make sure that they are being met. Don’t feel bad just because you asked for some time to be with them. Asking this does not necessarily make you a needy person. Any relationship takes a lot of time and effort from both ends to work. Remember: Do not settle for less.
  • Get yourself busy. Busy people don’t have time to be needy. Find a hobby, join a club, or just put yourself out there! Be a better person than someone who spends time waiting for a call. Besides, finding the right activity for you will make you become a more interesting person.

If you think you are being needy, or you need help in working out your relationship, contact Dr John Toussaint. You need an expert when it comes to relationship counselling and Dr Toussaint is the best person to call.

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